


Fading into Focus

by liamwalkstheline



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017), Riverdale (TV 2017) RPF
Genre: F/F, Soulmate AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-15 21:44:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18677932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liamwalkstheline/pseuds/liamwalkstheline
Summary: explaining color to someone who’s blind isn’t an easy task. neither is explaining love to someone who’s never felt it.





	Fading into Focus

it’s black and white and gray in the beginning, all of it. for everyone.

junior year is the first time toni topaz sees color. 

blues and greens and yellows and  _ reds  _ erupt in front of her face, and she doesn’t happen to notice the girl sitting in the corner whose mouth drops open as her eyes land on the pen she hadn’t known was purple.

toni’s confused and scared and curious, but all she can do is stare.

her gaze shifts to the girl in the corner. the girl in the corner with  _ red  _ hair and  _ brown  _ eyes and  _ red  _ lips.

(she’s smiling. she’s staring at a pen and she’s smiling, and it’s beautiful.)

toni sits next to jughead jones and rambles to him about shades of orange and violet and green and yellow, and he starts to think about the first time he saw color.

he asks toni who her soulmate is. 

_ my.. soulmate? _

_ yeah,  _ jughead says.  _ i saw color for the first time when i met betty.  _ his face softens.  _ my soulmate. _

_ so my soulmate’s.. here?  _ she furrows her eyebrows and scans the room, eager to find ‘the one’.

_ what if he doesn’t love me?  _ toni asks jughead, fear etched on her face.  _ what it’s one sided? _

jughead laughs quietly.  _ it’s never one sided, topaz. sometimes they just don’t realize that you’re theirs right away. _

toni nods, but the thought doesn’t leave her mind.

( _ what if they never realize it’s me? what if i never realize it’s them? _ )

it’s the middle of junior year when toni realizes it’s them.

_ juggie, is it possible that my soulmate is a girl?  _ the words leave her mouth tentatively, hanging in the air longer than she would have liked.

jughead wipes the confused expression off his face before toni can register it.  _ of course it is. why? got your eye on someone?  _ he nudges her arm, tilting his head towards the girl with long red hair.  _ it’s her, isn’t it? _

toni stumbles over her words, flushing a dark shade of pink _. how did you know?_

he shrugs.  _ you just.. i don’t know. you look at her like she’s the only person that matters. _

_oh._ toni looks down. .. _ oh. _

because the girl with long red hair has a boyfriend and the girl with long red hair is head cheerleader and the girl with long red hair would never, ever want her the same.

the summer between junior and senior year is the first time toni topaz talks to her.

_ hey.  _ (it’s not much of a conversation starter, but it’s more than toni’s said to her in three years combined so it’s progres.)

the girl cracks a smile. it doesn’t reach her eyes.  _ hey. _

something feels off. toni doesn’t know why, but it does, and she slips into the booth beside the girl to make sure she’s ok.  _ are you alright? _

she scoffs.  _ i’m cheryl blossom. i’m always alright. _

_ cheryl blossom, i hate to break it to you, but nobody is alright all the time. _

cheryl sighs and focuses on spinning her thumbs.  _ fine. maybe i’m not alright. but what can you do about it? _

_ i guess you don’t know me, then. hi, i’m toni topaz, and i never give up on anyone. that includes you. _

_ how can i trust you if everyone else has said the same thing and bailed? _

toni grabs cheryl’s hand and forces her to look her in the eye.  _ listen to me, cheryl, you deserve to be happy. you shouldn’t have to feel this way forever. _

cheryl searches her face.  _ how do you know how i’m feeling? _

_ because i feel the same way. lost and terrified and broken and helpless and worthless and so goddamn tired all the time. _

she falls silent at toni’s words.

_ and i know you put up with feeling that way just so nobody sees the real you. the version of yourself you think isn’t good enough, so you hide it and bottle everything up and pray it’ll all go away. _

cheryl stands up, tears sparkling behind the front she works so hard to put up every day that this complete stranger sees right through in an instant.  _ leave me alone! _

_ cher, listen to me- _

_ why should i? _

_ because i’m your soulmate! i’m your soulmate, and i care about you! _

cheryl just stares at her. then she turns around and leaves without saying another word.

the end of senior year is the last time toni topaz sees color.

the reds and blues and yellows are fading right before her eyes and she  _ doesn’t know why _ .

her phone vibrates in her pocket.  _ ‘toni, i’m at the hospital. i don’t want to stress you out, but meet me here asap. it’s serious. - jug’ _

she runs faster that day than she has in her entire life, and her legs pump and her heart pounds and blood rushes in her head and she can barely tell if her directional is green or orange and tears are finding her eyes faster than she can find her keys.

( _ no, no, no, no, no.) _

toni swerves into the hospital parking lot and she doesn’t care if she gets a ticket.

her combat boots crash against the tiled floor with each step. ( _ no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.) _

she doesn’t know if the tulips on that desk are yellow or white or pink, she doesn’t know if the doctors are wearing blue or purple scrubs, she doesn’t know if she can live in a world without color.

jughead paces outside of door 218.  _ you’re here. i’m.. i’m sorry. _

_ sorry?  _ toni feels her body freeze and overheat and melt and evaporate and she can’t hear or see or think.  _ what do you mean ‘sorry’? _

_ it’s cheryl. _

_ i know. but she’s going to be fine, right?  _

jughead’s eyes are now completely black, and toni can’t read his emotions anymore.

he fidgets with the cuffs of his sleeves and looks away.  _ toni, i- _

_ you what? you parked outside the lines? you shook a coke before opening it? you bought a new pin for your hat and you don’t like it? _

_ they tried to save her, toni. i tried to save her. _

toni glares at jughead, furious at the world, furious at the deafening silence drowning out her thoughts, furious at the tears racing down her cheeks.  _ is she..? _

jughead’s forehead crinkles and his eyes glaze over.  _ i’m so sorry. _

toni stares at the purple pen poking out of his jacket pocket.  _ that’s the only thing i can see in color. it’s.. purple. it’s purple. _

(she’s sobbing. she’s staring at a pen and she’s sobbing, and it’s heartbreaking.)


End file.
